Ladies 4s grab a last minute point which could keep them up

The official website of Lewes www.lewes.co.uk claims that Lewes is ‘Almost definitely the best place in Sussex to live’. If that’s the case then Lewes Hockey Club is ‘Almost, probably, maybe, perhaps, oh go on then, the best place in Sussex to play hockey’. Unless of course you played for the Ladies 4s on Saturday. Yes, they got the crucial point they needed to probably keep them in Division 2 this season - but did they deserve that point? Well, the jury is mostly likely downing its 10th pint of Harveys whilst it deliberates the facts.

Let’s start with the undisputed facts.

Fact one: Lewes can score from Penalty corners in the first minute of the game. (A well-versed Hoare routine).

Fact two: Lewes can drive the ball to the baseline and score goals this way. (Proved by a Richards P-spot ball to Hepple).

Fact three: Lewes can capitulate their 2-0 lead to a team who don’t play pretty hockey but use their grit and determination to break through the defence.

Fact four: Claudine Love is now the official team dietician after providing an energy boosting smoothie for one of the players.

Fact five: Alison ‘Jose’ Bruce is the undisputed Manager of Year due to co-ordinating 3 substitutes, a dog and a crying baby as well as taking the notes to make this match report possible.

We know there were 2 more goals from Lewes and that the last was a top of the D strike from H. Cunningham for a deflection from Jackson but, your Honour, what we do not know is how they did it. How did they score 4 goals whilst playing the worst hockey we have seen all season? I think we’ll leave it there. Court is adjourned until Saturday 8th April.