Ladies 4s win in style

Slightly jaded from their Christmas do a la Shanaz the previous eve the depilated ladies
arrived somewhat green around the gills.

Despite the oppressive (h)air, Lewes started brightly and were able to create wave after wave of attacking play up the field breaking apart the Hailsham defence with laser like precision.

Lewes’ first penalty corner came early and was struck by Julia ‘hairless’ Hoare to be expertly deflected in by Sara ‘short back and sides’ Heps.

The Lewes defence felt confident enough to push high and Rhiannon ‘Blondie’ Burgess was seen making many welcome forays into her opposing 25. This constant pressure created a second goal when Burgess drove into the D with a cross and, with the accolade of top Ladies 4s scorer still up for grabs, Iris ‘Sweeny Todd’ Jackson needed no runway - like an inverted Brazilian she saw the gap and tapped in the shot.

Leathers tore strips off the Hailsham left back at every opportunity as the opposing defender seemed rooted to the spot. It was after one such bursting run that she found herself top D with time to make no mistake with her resounding, razor sharp shot.

Seemingly trimmed of energy in the second half, the gals in green only managed a single goal. This time from a honed short corner routine. Harriet ‘Coiffured’ Cunningham reverse clipped a shot that snipped past the Hailsham keeper to make it 4-0.

You could have forgiven Constable Gooding a hangover-busting nap as she wasn’t troubled all game and virtually dropped off from inactivity.

Tombstone of the match was awarded to World of Pleatherland.