It was a dark and stormy night, when captain Zoe and her Legends squad took on the might of Middleton 3s. Last season, an unexpected goal against the run of play had robbed the Legends of victory; this time, they were determined to hold firm and win back the points. Little did they know that, before the day was out, blood would drip from the back board and test the edge of Lewes steel.

New faces in the ranks and old dogs worrying at a bone; the Legends took to their task with the aching legs and wheezing lungs of a new season. Long-legged Lou, new in the middle, was everywhere, tackling every suspect, with Naughty Nipps and her redoubtable defensive crew standing firm behind. Up ahead, Captain 'silky skills' Zoe sniffed at chances, when a ball sliced the head of a Middleton marauder, and the case hit a temporary dead end. Blood sprayed, stitches and bandages were applied, but the Legends could not be long held back. Goals flew in - from Zazzy Zoe, Rampant Rosie, Krazy Kim, Leggy Lou and Maddening Macca. At the back, Tiffany 'the Rock' Seymour won the Tombstone of Honour, and the Legends march onwards, where new shenanigans undoubtedly await them on the morrow.

Report by Karen Macdonald.