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Ladies 4s end of season report

1 year ago By Zoe Richards

Round up of the Ladies highs and lows.

It’s been a mixed season for the Ladies 4s. They’ve contended with slanderous pre-match accusations of ‘agricultural hockey’ and post-match text abuse from moody teenage offspring (poo bum).

They have dealt with: officious umpires; short halves and long halves; and halves that are 4 minutes shorter than they should be.

They’ve chest bumped goal keepers and breast fed at half time.

There were pre-pre-match wees, pre-match wees, and the ones behind the dugout. There were goals galore against Crowborough and sandpits and compost heaps at Beacon College. And sadly there are a number of players who have checked into the Priory for glucose tablet addiction.

Whatever the opposition threw at them you could always rely on Lewes 4s to keep calm, put their bras into sports mode and carry on. With 5 wins and 5 draws the ladies live to see another season in Division 2, knowing that whatever the outcome of each game, the fabulous 4s always ensure that team spirit and good old fashioned camaraderie wins every time.

Captain Mould
Ball Monitor - Hoare
Manager and Chief Baby Whisperer- Alison ‘Jose’ Bruce
World of Leatherland
Players Player - Constable Gooding
Wonderwall Wycherley
Nipple pie
Harley’s comet
Zoe ‘match reports’ Richards
Iris ‘Top goal scorer’ Jackson
Sara ‘Top goal scorer’ Hep
Dame Sue Storey
Fern Ketley (is a weatherman)
Clod ‘The boob’ Love
Flooz ‘you snooze you looze’
Darcy ‘the Bussell’ Gallagher
Rhiannon ‘Blondie’ Burgess
Richard ‘Walk on by’ Walker

Updated 13:43 - 30 Aug 2017 by Grace Wilkinson

Where next?

Stars of yesteryear return for El Classico at Southdown on 5th August Lewes Hockey club will stage an exciting encounter between LHC men’s past and present hockey stars.
Back 2 Hockey is Back! Sessions for both beginners and returning players start on Tuesday May 2nd.


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